


The Embrace

by domluver



Series: Demons [8]
Category: Benedict Cumerbatch, British Actor RPF, Sherlock (TV) RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-25
Updated: 2013-12-25
Packaged: 2018-01-06 01:19:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1100745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/domluver/pseuds/domluver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Waverly runs away from Tom's apartment only to be followed. Benedict finally lets the guilt wash over him, as he realizes his mistakes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Embrace

 

Waverly could barely see through the tears that fogged her vision. Her feet hurt pounding the cement in her Converse as she ran away from Tom's building. She didn't even think she was heading in the right direction to her flat, but she kept running. Dashing through the crowds pushing people out of the way. Her chest felt like it was going to explode, trying to contain her burning lungs and thudding heart. She could barely catch her breath. Finally she had to stop, she had made it three blocks before she collapsed in an alleyway. Clutching her chest she sobbed, her breath catching in her throat as her emotions overcame her.

Her mind couldn't grasp what just happened. Benedict had thought that she was sleeping with Tom, yet he had sex with her anyways. Her stomach flipped as she felt the bile rise in the back of her throat. She has never felt more used in her life. A sob escaped her as tears fell down her cheeks. Waverly was actually going to give him another chance, she was going to tell him that she loved him. That she would forgive and forget, she couldn't be without him. Not anymore, thinking about him only brought a dull pain in her chest. She felt a hand grasp her shoulder.

“GET AWAY FROM ME,” She screamed turning around expecting to see Benedict behind her. Tom released her shoulder quickly.

“Waverly,” Tom chastised looking around them. A few on lookers stared at the pair. Waverly disheveled crying and Tom standing in front of her. He grasped her hand lightly pulling her from the shadows onto the sidewalk. She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and started to walk away from him. Ignoring the curious looks. Tom walked by her side wanting nothing more than to comfort her, but he really didn't know how. “Waverly.” He said again as her energy left her and she leaned against a building.

“No, Tom, leave me alone.” Her voice was hoarse to her ears, running her fingers lightly over her throat she shook her head.

“You're clearly not alright, let me at least take you home.”

“I'm fine, I can get home by myself,” Waverly huffed.

“You're going to wrong way.”

“Tom,” Waverly hissed finally turning to look at him. “Leave me be.”

“Go back,” He said quietly. Waverly glared at him and continued to walk, gaining more composure with every step. “He's still standing there.”

“Good.”

“I'm sure he knows he fucked up.”

“Even better.”

“He didn't mean any of it.”

“He didn't mean any of it?” Waverly stopped in her tracks gaping at the older man. “Are you fucking kidding me right now? He thought we were basically have an affair. He thought me and you were an item, he got that in his big head and he just rolled with it all. Didn't bother trying to ask me about it when I went over.”

“I understand that Waverly, but he was probably just so hopeful that you had actually showed up at his apartment without him tracking you down.” Tom tried to explain for his friend.

“Don't you even dare stick up for him,” Waverly ground her teeth “There is nothing that you or he could say that would ever make me go back to your flat.”

“Your not even going to let him explain himself?” He asked. Even though his jaw still hurt from the punch and his mind could barely keep his thoughts straight he could only think of Benedict. The betrayed look on his face as he saw Tom. The shattered man that he left in the apartment after his mistake was thrown in his face. He had never seen Benedict so defeated.

“Why should I?” She laughed manically “You heard what was said in there. We slept together Tom! You know how long I've waited for that? It was better than I imagined. But you know what ruins it?”

“Waverly,” His voice was cautious.

“Is that he thought me and you were sleeping together while we had sex. And didn't say anything! For all I know that's all he could think about the entire time! You know how that makes me feel?” Waverly's voice froze in her throat. She snapped her mouth shut as her body shuttered with a sob.

Tom grabbed her and wrapped his arms tightly around her. They stood in the middle of the busy sidewalk but it didn't matter to him. All he wanted was to make Waverly realize what she was thinking was wrong. He felt her clutch at the back of his shirt, trying to hold herself together. Slowly he maneuvered them toward the street where he held his hand up and a cab quickly pulled up beside them. Through the ride back to her flat Tom held Waverly, and let her sob. It would be a while before she would get past this. And he would help her, rag papers be damned. If they wanted to try to ruin friendships then that was on the person who chose to believe it.

Tom couldn't imagine what would come over Benedict, to think that such a thing was done. He and Waverly were close, but not as close as Ben thought. He saw her as just another sister, someone whom he wanted to protect from anything that would hurt her. Fix something that needed attention, which is what he was doing with them. Ben in his jealousy took it the wrong way. He gripped Waverly tighter holding her close to his chest. Her sobbing had turned into silent tears by the time the cab pulled up to her flat. Waverly could barely climb out of the cab without his support.

“Wrap your arms around my neck,” Tom said quietly as they entered her building.

“Why?” Waverly mumbled but acquiesced. Swiftly Tom swept her up into his arms before he started to walk up the stars. Waverly didn't protest as she leaned against him. She was so drained that she could barely keep her eyes open. Pulling her key out of her pocket she opened the door from his arms. “Just put me into bed.”

Tom placed Waverly into her bed, she had kicked her shoes off along the way and threw her bag across the living room. Instantly she pulled the blankets around her tucking herself in. Running his hand across her hair Tom frowned. He couldn't leave her like this. If he knew where her sister lived he would've dropped her off there, but her bed was probably the best place for her. She waved off his hand as fresh tears fell down her cheeks.

“I'm going to stay here yeah?” Tom wiped her cheek dry.

“Yeah,” Waverly replied quietly.

Her eyes were closed as he turned around, he expected her to sleep most of the day. Quietly he shut the door to her bedroom and sat down on the couch. Running his hands down his face he felt like he could cry himself. Tom didn't have any idea how this would be fixed, this was the last of Benedict and Waverly and there was nothing he could do to put them back together again.

 

 

Benedict's mouth moved up and down as he watched Tom rush from his own apartment after Waverly. The door was left open and he could hear Tom running screaming out Waverly's name. His body felt numb, his legs gave out as he sank heavily to the floor. He was stupid, how could he possibly think that Waverly would betray him like that. His heart beat against his rib cage, he could hear the pounding in his ears. The pictures tore them apart, and his own stupidity drove the stake through them. How could he let something as their friendship get in the way? He'd known Tom for years, why all of a sudden would he betray him.

Ben let out a small moan as he clutched his head as he bent over resting his head on the floor. He made a stupid mistake and now it would never be fixed. Waverly came to him willingly, she wanted to fix things and really wanted to be with him. And all he could think about through the entire thing was that he was fucking Tom's girlfriend and didn't care. In truth he was fucking himself over. They finally made love and he basically used her. He was going to have to live with that, if only he could apologize, beg profusely.

Reaching into his pocket he struggled to sit up. He needed to talk to someone, anyone, he had to repent. He could barely see the screen of his phone through the fog of tears that burned his eyes. Martin was the only one he could think of. Tom had shown his loyalty by running after Waverly. Not that he deserved Tom at the moment, not after accusing him and hitting him. He would eventually forgive, for all he knew Tom already did and was fighting for his cause.

“Mah---Martin,” Benedict swallowed after the phone stopped ringing. The word died in his throat, he struggled through the sandpaper feeling. He could barely hear Martin's reply over the pounding in his ears. “I need--” His throat couldn't work.

“Benedict what's wrong?” Martin rushed out. Ben's mind reeled, what would he say he couldn't say anything over the phone. “Where are you? Are you back from the states.”

“Yes,” He whispered. “Tom's.”

“Are you—what's going on?” He could see Martin frowning into his phone. He knew he wasn't making much sense, but he couldn't talk. “Do you need me to get you.”

Benedict shook his head, and realized Martin couldn't see his reply “No, I—I'll come to you.”

“Okay, I'm at home,” Martin paused as Ben tried to push himself off the floor. “Just be careful. You don't sound okay.”

“Don't feel-kay,” Ben struggled before ending the call. Clutching onto the furniture for support he pulled himself out of the apartment shutting the door behind him. He was glad Tom lived on the first floor, he didn't think he would be able to maneuver down stairs. Struggling outside he hailed a taxi, collapsing into the front seat. The ride was long, Martin living out of the city but it was enough for Benedict to get his frame of mind together. His actions replaying in his thoughts poking him like thorns, but it didn't make him numb anymore. As the taxi pulled up to Martin's house, Benedict saw him outside waiting for him. He didn't think he worried him that much.

“Ben,” Martin gripped his shoulders as he walked up the front walk “What the hell is wrong with you? You look awful.”

“I did some pretty bad stuff,” Benedict shrugged, how else could he describe it? “Implied some awful stuff.”

“What are you going on about?”

“The reason I didn't talk to you for a few weeks,” Ben started towards the house, he really didn't feel like having this conversation in front of nosy neighbors. “After filming stopped, and before I went to Dorset; Waverly and I broke up.”

“What the fuck Benedict,” Martin hissed as he lead him into his study “Are you out of your mind?”

“Yes, I think I was,” Ben sat down heavily on a spare chair with Martin standing in front of him “I thought it was what was best for her. She was so depressed about everything—I didn't realize once we broke up that it would effect me so much.”

“You do love her; of course it would.”

“I wish people would stop saying that,” He hissed leaning back in the chair closing his eyes. “I—avoided everyone, but Tom was persistent and eventually got me to tell him that I broke up with Waverly. I told him it was the worst idea.”

“Obviously.”

“Commentary not helping. He was going to do anything in his power to get us back together. And with that—I saw—I heard. I just can't believe I actually believed that—person.” Ben pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel the jealousy rising in his mind just thinking of them happy together. Maybe she belonged with Tom if all he was going to do was mess things up.

“What? Believed who?”

“Someone told me that Waverly and Tom were dating,” He said it so quietly Martin had to lean forward to hear him. “Not any believable source, just someone I'm sure who was trying to get a rise out of me now. And I believed them, next thing I know I'm home and Waverly's on my door step.”

“You slept with her didn't you?” Martin smirked. Finally Benedict was able to take a great step.

“Yes.”

“That's where you fucked up wasn't it?”

“A bit,” He sighed “I thought she was with Tom and I still slept with her. I left her in my apartment to go to an engagement. Where I saw more—evidence, for a lack of a better word of them. I confronted Tom. Sucker punched him just in time for Waverly to see. Let's just say I got chewed out by both of them for my stupidity.”

“Well,I—how do I react to that?”

“I don't want you to tell me I was wrong—or stupid—or being a complete dick. I know I was, I was so fucking stupid to even think that could happen. I just, I need to unburden myself from this. I need help. God I just need her back.”

“I don't think you'll get her back this time mate,” Martin sighed running his hands down his face. “You used her. You fucked her, thinking that she was with Tom. If you thought she was with Tom you shouldn't have done anything. For all you know she thinks that you just wanted to finally sleep with her before she went off with Tom. Showing her, that's all you ever wanted. How could you be such a dick?”

“I don't know!” Benedict lifted his head quickly, spreading his hands out in front of him “She didn't say anything, so in my jealousy filled mind I thought it was okay. I'm such an idiot.”

“Yes, you are.” Martin dead paned. Benedict gaped at his friend, but Martin help up a hand to quiet a retort “You got off the charts from everyone for a few weeks because you broke up with Waverly. Stupid. You then think one of your best mates is going to steal her from you—the one who set you together in the first place. Really stupid.”

“Okay I get it Martin,” Ben grumbled.

“No I don't think you do. What did you want from this Ben? For me to tell you everything is going to be okay and things will get better?”

“I'd lie by saying no.” He sighed. Maybe what he really did need was to tell him all of his mistakes. He stupid, insecure mistakes. His stupid anxiety ridden mistakes.

“Then shut up and listen.” Taking a deep breath Martin continued “You never said it but you'd have to be an idiot not to see how you look at Waverly. She's-was- your whole world whether you wanted her to be or not. Breaking up with her to make her happy, yes that was a good thing. Amanda didn't like how Waverly was talking the last time she spoke with her on set, afterward she just seemed worse. So while you wanted her to be happier, she really wasn't. Ben you weren't selfish, you wanted what was best, but you didn't realize it was you.”

“Stop,” Ben stood up quickly pacing away from his friend “I—just stop.”

“I don't think you should be alone tonight,” Martin said quietly.

“I'm not going to do anything stupid,” He laughed in reply running his fingers through his cropped hair.

“Track record says otherwise,” Martin lead him out of the room and up to the guest room. Unceremoniously he pushed Benedict into the room. “Tea's at five. Eat if you want.”

Benedict nodded as Martin shut the door. Taking a deep breath he fell onto the bed, he wouldn't do anything stupid but Martin knew when he shouldn't be alone and this was a time. Kicking his shoes off he placed his phone in the nightstand drawer, anything to stave away the temptation of calling Waverly. His heart pained against his chest, and his whole body flushed. As he thought about her he could only feel embarrassed now, once it boiled down to it, this was all his fault.

 

 

Waverly stood under the spray of the shower for what felt like hours trying to watch away the last day from her body. She felt tense and the heat didn't seem to be helping. By the end of the shower her skin felt raw from the scrubbing and her body was out of tears. Wrapping herself in her towels she sat quietly in her room. She could hear the television on in the living room, her heart rose a little. Tom had stayed like he said he would, which surprised Waverly. They had only recently gotten close, when Tom left her in her bed she half thought he was lying to her and that she was dreaming.

She almost didn't want to leave her room, seeing Tom would just be another reminder that her heart was broken into a million pieces. Pieces that would never be put together again no matter how much she wished it, or how much Tom pressed. Her hand hesitated on the knob, but pulled the door open swiftly. The scene in front of her made her pause—and smile.

Tom was sitting on the couch, feet up on the coffee table a box of pizza open in front of him on his lap. Waverly let out a small laugh. Tom twitched throwing the pizza off of himself, putting his feet back on the floor. He sat up straight smiling weakly at her. Waverly smiled back as she walked into the living room and plopping down next to Tom.

“I got pizza,” He touched the box he discarded on the table with his foot. Waverly smiled kindly at him. “Are you feeling better?”

“I little,” She shrugged “I just don't want to talk about it. Ever again.”

“Well at nice as that sounds you know that's not possible.”

“I can dream,” Waverly sighed grabbing a piece of pizza. “It's just, how fucking—I mean, how could he?”

“Waverly,” Tom cleared his throat smirking at her. “You're talking about it.”

“I need to get it out of my system,” She frowned looking down at the food in her hands. How could it come to this? Her worst fear was confirmed, he just wanted to sleep with her and he believed the most unbelievable story. That's all he wanted to do, he had to find a way out. Why not believe that she was supposedly dating his best friend. What a better way to dump her. “Do you think he ever wanted me?”

Tom froze. Of course Ben wanted her, he wanted her more than anything he had wanted in recent memory. Tom knew it, Martin knew it. He just had a funny way of showing it, thinking that he was giving her the best option by breaking up with her. When it came to Benedict and love, he was as clueless as ever. If he self sabotaged at anything it was love, pushing Waverly away when all he wanted was to draw her closer. Breaking her heart, when he should've told her he loved her. Tom didn't know what to tell her.

“You remember the night you two met at the masquerade ball?” Tom asked slowly.

“Of course.”

“Ben was so anxious that night, he did not want to be there at all. I literally had to drag him out of his apartment to go shopping for masques.” Tom smiled at the memory “It just wasn't the best time for him ya know? He never stops working, and I just wanted him to get out and have fun. Even if it was pretty formal. That night he refused to dance, I saw him dance with one girl. Someone he probably just picked out of the blue to amuse me.”

“Sounds like him,” Waverly said weakly.

“I watched him the entire time he stood in his corner. It wasn't until he stood in front of you and looked at you did I see him relax. His body language changed so quickly it was like he was getting in character. He relaxed, his back wasn't stiff and he was leaning towards you like a thirsty man.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Why do you think I sought you out?” Tom ignored her for the minute to continue “It had been so long since I've seen him react that way. You were reluctant, but I pushed you. He needed you, as he told me purple in a sea of pastels.” Tom laughed “You ran out and he ran to me asking if I knew anything about you.”

“Tom.”

“You know what he could've done? Forgotten you given up that he would never see you again. But he searched and asked everyone he could who you were. But he couldn't find out. He wasn't himself the following days because he knew he missed an opportunity. He missed finding out who you where.” Tom felt foolish telling her this, but she had to realize. Benedict wouldn't often say what he was thinking or feeling if it felt embarrassing. But this she had to know.

“Well I appreciate you telling me about this, it's not going to change anything. He used me and I left. Knowing his actions for the beginning of this fucked up journey doesn't help.”

“I'm not telling you this to think on him differently,” Tom sighed running his fingers through his hair. “You asked if he ever wanted you. And I'm trying to tell you he wanted you more than you could've imagined. I don't expect that to change how you feel or think now. It's what you wanted to know.”

“Oh,” Waverly bit her lip the story finally sinking in. He thought about her constantly after the ball. She couldn't stop thinking about him either. Adding a face to the body, it was not what she imagined. The mystery man her mind made up was perfection; but Benedict was so much more. If she was going to be honest with herself, he was always want she wanted. But now she had to let that go, he wasn't for her. “I just have to let him go—I have let him go. He can stew in his own guilt because I saw who he was and I don't want to be with that. He deserves it for what he did. What he thought.”

“If it's what you want,” Tom said slowly.

Waverly could only nod. It's not want she wanted, but it's what she needed. To be away from him, to not think of him and get on with her life. It's what she should've done when he broke up with her. It was her mistake wanting to go back, wanting to have what they couldn't.

 

 

 

Benedict pulled the covers over his head as he heard knocking on the door. It was probably just Martin wanting to check on him, but he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. He was finally away from the situation where he could just sit and think. He really didn't need other people telling him what an idiot he was being or how he blew away the best thing that happened to him. Ben knew that, that's all that ran through his head before he fell into his restless nap. The knocking was persistent.

“Go away Martin,” He yelled at the door.

“It's Amanda,” He heard the door open as the light from the hall fell on him. “It's dinner.”

“I don't feel like going down.”

“It's okay, I brought it to you,” Amanda smirked as she slid into the room before shutting it behind her. Flicking on the overhead light she saw Benedict retreat under the covers even more. “It's your favor pasta with meat sauce.”

“Not hungry,” Ben mumbled rolling over as she sat down on the bed.

Amanda frowned disapprovingly at him, but he took the bowl from her none the less. He picked at the meal pushed the bread in the bowl away with his fork. She studied him, he refused to meet her gaze. He was practically in the fetal position under the covers, his knees curled under him as he rested the bowl on his thighs. Reaching out Amanda brushed back the hair from his face and smiled at him. She knew how deeply Ben cared for Waverly, sometimes it was too much. Which causes him not to think before he reacts.

“Martin told me,” She started carefully.

“Everything?” Ben ripped apart the roll, he held it up to his mouth looking at her for the first time. She nodded slowly. Dipping his head in shame he stuffed his face.

“Can I ask you something?” Benedict waved his hand as permission his mouth full of food. For the first time in weeks he was hungry. “Why in Gods name would you even think that Waverly would scorn you that badly by starting an affair with Tom? He's one of your best mates, and she's your girl even if you did fuck that up before you left. How could you not, oh I dunno, have asked someone before you leap to your insane conclusion.”

“I don't know!” Ben answered quickly swallowing down a mouthful of food. “I was just driven into this type of rage. Looking back of course I know how stupid it was, how much of a tit I was being. But in the moment, being gone for so long and having to listen to what was happening from second hand accounts I couldn't help but believe.”

“I'm sorry,” She said quietly leaning forward she wrapped her arms tightly around him. He leaned into the hug. Amanda patted his back comfortingly.

“I'd take it back if I could.” Ben said quietly.

“I know you would,” Amanda pulled back cupping his face lovingly “But the only thing you can do now is get past it. And go on with your life.”

“Without Waverly,” Releasing a full body shiver he pulled the blankets higher.

“Without Waverly. But whose to say that later on something happens, if you love her as much as I know you do I know you won't stop.” She smiled.

“The way she looked at me Amanda I'll never forget. It was full of pain and betrayal. I basically used her, and than accused her of sleeping with my mate. I'll be lucky if she even mentions my name again let alone wanting to be with me.” Ben wrapped his hands around his head, resting his forehead on his knees. Just thinking that his heart thumped against his ribs painfully.

“You can stay here as long as you need,” Standing up Amanda took the food bowl from him. Smiling lightly she noticed he ate it all, she figured he hadn't eaten properly in a few days. “And just because I'm friends with Waverly doesn't mean that you aren't my friend either Ben. I'm here. Just like Tom, I'll be the advocate if you want.”

“No,” Ben said after a minute lifting his head “It's over and done with. I dug my grave, laying in it is what I have to do.”

Amanda nodded leaving the room. Shutting the light off she pulled the door shut. She had never seen Benedict look so defeated before. He had problems with over reacting to situations, but in this one he had the right degree of anxiety. With this it wouldn't take just a matter of days to fix, it could be years. Leaning against the wall she ran her hands down her face, she had never seen Ben happier than when he was with Waverly. Martin had said the same thing to her, even though he was more cautious of their relationship than she was.

“How is he?” Martin appeared at the top of the stairs his arms crossed staring at the door beside her.

“Worse, he ate at least,” Amanda shrugged pushing herself off the wall “I told him he could stay here. He really shouldn't be alone.”

“It's not like he's doing to do anything Amanda,” Martin shook his head.

“No, but he's beating himself up about all of this. He just really needs support, especially from his friends!” She glared at her partner walking up to him. “You're not going to make this worse but saying I told you so.”

“I won't,” Martin glared back “I told him to take it slow, I knew he would over react about things. I just didn't think he would go that far.”

“Well he did,” She kissed him quickly before wrapping her arms around him. “Let him be for now, he can sleep through the night and we'll let the kids wake him up in the morning.”

 

 

Benedict stared up at the dark ceiling he had to leave Waverly behind, it sounded so simple in his head but he knew it wouldn't be. Getting Tom to forgive him on the other hand would be easy. They had been friends for years. In drunken stupors he'd said worse things to him, and accused him of the stupidest things. He would still wait a while before he did anything, what he needed more than anything was to redo it all. To trust his feelings for Waverly in the first place and never break up with her. Rolling over he pulled the covers back over his head. He released a chest rattling sob as he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep.

 


End file.
